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Zaradi časa (in vesolja in jezika)

Helena .
22.07.2015 22:48 (Jul 22, 2015)

Besede so zaradi odnosov.

Do sebe, drugih in okolice.

Vidim drevo. In je drevo. Sem jaz, ki ga gledam in je krošnja, v kateri so ptice.

Slišim trepet in odzvanjanje ure na zvoniku. Vem, da je čas in prostor. In vse to v moji glavi, ki hibernira.

Ko vse to zapišem je videti resnično, čeprav je noč in ponoči ni ptic, ki bi žrgolele. Slišim skovikanje sov.

In besede so zato, da so izgovorjene in slišane. Četudi samo zame in prosto odmevajo v skritih delih mojega telesa.

Besede so zame, da vem, da obstajam. In tišina je premor, ko zajamem sapo.

Tudi dihati je treba. Da podaljšaš pogodbo za dan. Leto in še nekaj poglavji.

Besede so za naivne.

Za tiste, ki mislijo, da so lahko zaokroženi. Za tiste, ki iščemo nekaj, kar nas bo držalo skupaj.

Pa nič takega ne obstaja.

So samo misli, ki begajo v neznano.

Kometi.

In besede so kometi.

Zaslepijo, da se lahko potem mirno pogrezneš v noč.

In besede so pregrade, mostovi in luknje.

Samo stavek obrneš in ti spodrsne.

Besede so spolzke in nanje se lahk

Govorim

Helena .
02.02.2015 11:19 (Feb 02, 2015)

(sama sebi)

 

Besede so težke, ker, ko jih enkrat zapišeš, nočejo iz jezika. In zato jih je lažje kar takoj zmetati naokoli. Kot da niso tvoje, kot da so nezakonski otroci neposlušnih možganov. Naj jih imajo drugi, naj se oni ukvarjajo z njimi, ti nočeš z njimi več imeti ničesar. Ustvariš nekaj stavkov, jim rečeš, da so mnenje (velecenjeno mnenje) in jih daš naprej. Zelo velikodušno, v bistvu.

(iz nekega starega zapisa)

 

Vadim.

Besede so zato, da vadim. Da vadim samo sebe in pretegujem možganske mišice. Iščem meje in kot radoveden otrok gledam v brezna. Nikoli ne padem čez. Preveč sem previdna, preveč me je strah. In v resnici sploh ne maram padanja. Če padeš, pomeni, da boš trčil ob tla. Tla pa so zmeraj tam, kjer jih ne pričakuješ. In navsezadnje, zakaj bi sploh moral pasti?

Stegnem prste, da poči.

Mačke ne marajo ogledal. V njih vidijo grožnjo, ker kažejo nekaj, kar je nasprotno od tistega, kar dojamajo za svoje telo. Ogledala so na sploh neuporabna zadeva. Vidim se lahko tudi, če

...

Helena .
01.02.2015 19:48 (Feb 01, 2015)

(mislila sem da si gol)

 

"všeč so mi nedokončane"

"še raje imam besede"

Oglasi

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