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Kategorija: besede

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Klobasanje klobas (oz. umetnosti)

Helena .
24.11.2015 17:50 (Nov 24, 2015)

Si tukaj?

Sem.

Sem tukaj?

Sem.

Sem?

 

***

 

Vrnila sem se na začetno točko. Se mi zdi. Iz vrste delavnic, pogovorov o literaturi, z literaturo, preko literature, literanih večerov, literarnih branj, literanih natečajev, literarnih literarnic … do tam, kjer se vprašaš, kaj sploh počneš. Niti ne "zakaj" (ker je to kljub vsemu že preveč metafizično vprašanje za kar nek preblisk v poznem popoldnevu), temveč zgolj in samo "kaj". Kaj naj bi to moje premetavanje po jeziku sploh bilo? Bi moralo kaj biti?

 

V začetku sem bila (kot večinoma vsak pisec) prepričana, da mora priti beseda nekje od znotraj. Pa niti ni važno, kakšna ta beseda je. Lahko je začetek ljubezenske izpovedi, lahko ploha kletvic nad družbo, lahko čista refleksija, subtilno preigravanje sebe preko drugih. V sebi pač mora imeti nekaj, kar lahko bralec sprejme, se poistoveti, zazna, da ne rečem - začuti. Potem se prej ali slej zgodi, da je takih besed lahko več, kot bi jih lahko kdorkoli sprocesiral. Vsak vendar ne more pisati,

V lovor in nazaj

Helena .
03.10.2015 23:19 (Oct 03, 2015)

Skrijem se v televizijo. Gibajoče slike me potegnejo vase in me prijetno zmeljejo. Da sem mehka in mlahava. Lahko se zlijem v neznanca in mu obsedim v možganih. Tam je zmešnjava. Še več ljudi, ki jih ne poznam in živijo svoje dihanje. V vseh telesih je enako. Ljubezni, sovraštva in besede, ki nimajo nanašalca.  Visi pod stopom in se pretvarja, da je življenje. Vstati ob šestih, pojesti kosilo ob drugi, klepetati o jutrišnjem dnevu. "Grem po sveže žemljice." "Igrala bova tenis." Ljudje, ki vedo, kaj počnejo. Sem spužva v njihovih možganih. Tiho se plazim med izrečenim in včasih lahko vmes zaslišim lastni vzdihljaj. Slike me posrkajo v nekaj podobnega materiji. Tam sem. Sem.

 

Gospod in gospa sedita na stolih pred hišo. Sonce obseva zadnje stene, tako da senca pada na vso dvorišče. Na kolesu se pelje mimo. Samo še nekaj kilometrov dalje, potem se bo obrnila. Da prezrači misli. Mogoče bo več kisika v žilah vzpodbudilo srce. Hitreje mora bíti. Hitreje, da ga bo čutila.

 

Slike se menjavaj

Izgubljena prtljaga

Helena .
03.10.2015 20:59 (Oct 03, 2015)

Zložila se je v kovček Prodala anonimnežem na spletu in zazehala

ko so jo poslali na nov avtobus Bilo je očitno da je je preveč za

kratek verz in začetno uverturo v molu "Pišeš ljubezensko poezijo?"

"Te zanimajo časovne koordinate Zemlje?" "Lažeš?" Otresla se je

trepljajev po ramenih nogah višjih in nižjih točkah ki naj bi bile tam

za vzdihovanje Ni vzdihovala Ni se tresla kot premražena kobilica

Že dolgo je zmrzovala zaradi oddaljenosti Bližje ni upala ker ima

stopljen led manjšo prostornino Če bi se razlezla bi izgubila

hrbtenico "Si jo že?" "Si že … tanka?"

 

Prostor je bolj obvladljiv

ko je enodimenzionalen zato se premika v intervalih Po črvje

zlaga sebe v neskončne kolone vibracij Vodna gladina valovi

skupaj s premikanjem zvezd Zvezde se ne premikajo veliko

in ona zna dobro čakati Populi si obrvi Pripravi se na

novo trepljanje "Dobro je" "Ampak pesem ne sme biti tako

blizu" Njene oči so zelo daleč Prikimava "Vsaka beseda mora

stati tam z razlogom" Je tiho Ve da nihče ne pozna no

Zaradi časa (in vesolja in jezika)

Helena .
22.07.2015 22:48 (Jul 22, 2015)

Besede so zaradi odnosov.

Do sebe, drugih in okolice.

Vidim drevo. In je drevo. Sem jaz, ki ga gledam in je krošnja, v kateri so ptice.

Slišim trepet in odzvanjanje ure na zvoniku. Vem, da je čas in prostor. In vse to v moji glavi, ki hibernira.

Ko vse to zapišem je videti resnično, čeprav je noč in ponoči ni ptic, ki bi žrgolele. Slišim skovikanje sov.

In besede so zato, da so izgovorjene in slišane. Četudi samo zame in prosto odmevajo v skritih delih mojega telesa.

Besede so zame, da vem, da obstajam. In tišina je premor, ko zajamem sapo.

Tudi dihati je treba. Da podaljšaš pogodbo za dan. Leto in še nekaj poglavji.

Besede so za naivne.

Za tiste, ki mislijo, da so lahko zaokroženi. Za tiste, ki iščemo nekaj, kar nas bo držalo skupaj.

Pa nič takega ne obstaja.

So samo misli, ki begajo v neznano.

Kometi.

In besede so kometi.

Zaslepijo, da se lahko potem mirno pogrezneš v noč.

In besede so pregrade, mostovi in luknje.

Samo stavek obrneš in ti spodrsne.

Besede so spolzke in nanje se lahk

Oglasi

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